I'm Fucking A Nigerian Girl...

I did not care to open or see the remaining text message, but thats the part that I saw. I received a text message from T at 12 23 am. This is either a booty call, or a desperate ass motha fucker. Do you think I am stupid? I do not even care if you fuck a sheep. Do you think I am gonna run back to you because of this stupid text message. How old do you say you are? You are supposed to be in your 30's but you are still playing the game of a child. Just accept your defeat, and realize that it is Game Over. I do not have time for your nonsensical games. You dumb piece of shit. I do not care who you fuck.Your ass must be desperate as fuck. How much are you paying her for her services? You must need some dat bad. Maybe this is why you can not get a girl, because your a piece of shit. I meant to say you are not just a piece of shit, you are the whole shit. I spit on you and whoever raised you because you have disgraced them; you disgust me.

How dare you?

Does he think im a fuckin prostitute that he can just pay money to? I know that I need this money, but he will not make me stoop so low to get the money. Like he said, "You are already stooping low because you let V fuck for free?" So I can't have a healthy relationship with my bf. No boy, you are wrong, your jus fucking mad because you are not getting any. Fine, you dont want to give me the money, be a man about it. I am happy that I never let you fuck, am even suprised that I got pregnant by your non-supporting ass. I plan to change my number, so dont ever call me again. On top of that you got the nerve to call me a bitch? How dare you? I should have known something was wrong with you when I saw pictures of a boy and a girl in your living room. So you are proud because you have two kids by two different mothers. That is something that you should never be proud of. I will not be the one. I am glad that I didnt have your child. I would have hated that child.

It is like a natural remedy or therapeutic

Allowing all your troubles to go, and learning from that experience does good for the body. You know how they say milk does the body good, well i am saying letting your trobles go, is the best thing anyone can do for themselves and their health. Populating your mind with, "I should've", "I didn't do this", or so on is another way to stress your mind, and prolong your problems and in result that may lead to the body's system crashing. I am happy that I am able to move on after all this.

What is Ethical PArt 3

I ended up aborting the child after I found out. I was 5 months along, and the Planned Parenthood Clinic tried to tell me that it would be risky to initiate a surgical procedure. I knew in my heart that it was wrong to kill a child that has developed so far along. And I also knew it could cause possible heath risk. I did not know what to do. At first I was thinking of going through with the pregnancy, and then giving the child up for adoption but T said, "In my family, we do not just have babies and give them up. It is either, you have the child and give it to me, or you abort the child." In my mind, I knew I was in no chance ready to have a bond with this man. The only thing that would bind us is that child. So I ended up getting the abortion. It was a horrid experience for me, I had some nightmares for the first couple of weeks post surgery. The procedure cost me $2, 440. T left me hanging, and he did not give me any money, I had to pay for all of it. So fast forward to a few weeks, he texts me and tells me has the money and I should come and get it. Ol boy jus wanted to fuck me and give me the money. I thought about it. Why don't I just have sex with him and get my money back, because I need this money. Is that ethical, that I would want someone to pay for sex, or that I am selling my body like that?

What is ethical? Part 2

So even though I got pregnant by T, I met another guy by the name of V. I met V on campus when I went to the library before my class. My first impression of V was that he was annoying and he talked way too much. the first thing this boy started talking to me about was about traveling, and then stocks. I was like "huh." I had no idea he was in math course. We eventually started seeing more of each other, and I grew fond of him. He is such a complicated subject that is hard to talk about. Even though V picked me, I started having feelings for him, and after 4 weeks, I let him fuck me. He didnt know how to fuck. His excuse was that I was still tight and I couldnt enjoy anything because I will just feel pain. "No, honey, you do not know me, I hate sex." He said "How can you hate something, you never tried. It is like you are virgin." During the time I was having sex with V, I had no idea I was preggers, until I was 5 months along. So when I found this out, I called T and told him. He didnt beleive me because like I said, we never fucked. But I know it was him, because he was the only guy I messed with. He said he was gonna support me in whatever I decided to do, but had the audacity to ask me why I left him for 4 months. I left you because I don't like you and never was attracted you. I could never tell him to his face that I just liked him because he was good at oral. What V lacked, T replaced and vice versa. The disparity between T and V are so great. For instance, T gave good head, while V did not know how to fuck or give head. V looked better than T. V talked too much about how he was affected by the thhings of this world. I guess you can call him an extrinsic individual. What is truly ethical. Is it ethical that even after I found out I was pregnant, I was still letting V fuck. According to T, he said the best sex you can get is from a pregnant woman. T you are wrong. You are jus mad because I did not let you fuck. I know it was wrong to continue letting V fuck even after I found out I was pregnant. What was I supposed to do..."O I was having sex with V at the same time I was pregnant but didnt know, but since I found out I got pregnant I can not let V fuck anymore?" Who says that to anybody? Either way, I fucked up both ways. So I ended up fucking myself.

What is ethical?

Looking back at this past year from Sept. 2008 to present, I can safely say that I am not proud of myself. Maybe I am being too hard on myself, but I am also being true to myself. I am a nice girl, and sometimes my niceness can be misunderstood and taken advantage of. I have been involved in two relationships so far that has gone haywire. From one guy to another to multiple problems. Ladies, if it is anything, I just want to let you all know not to deal with guys, when you do not know your worth. What do I mean by worth? If you do not know your boundaries, and you do not know how easily you can fall for a guy, if you do not understand how to repect yourself first, then how do you expect respect to be reciprocal. So anyway, as I was saying, I met this guy by the name T(I will just call him T, because I do not want to expose his personal business like that) on the metrolink train. I should have know something was not right by his name; let me jus say his name rhymes with Beyonce. So eventually we hooked up, and we got around to messing around. Girl, I will tell you even though I was not attracted to him, I loved the way he ate my vajay jay. He knew how to work his tongue down there. The man did not believe me when I told him his breath stank, ol' boy had halitosis. No matter what he did, he couldn't correct his disorder. He should have known I was not playing around when I told him not to kiss me. Well to be truthful, I dont like kissing anybody, I dont care how cute you think you are. He knew how to work his tongue down my pussy. He was sucking me down there, where I reached a climax that I never knew I could attain. Ain't no man ever sucked me like that. I give credit where it is due. We never really fucked. So I dont understand how I got pregnant. He only stuck the head in, and I never really let him stick the whole thing, because I was not feeling him. He sure was not boyfriend material, and we just didnt get along that well. I knew one thing. I knew his mouth belonged in my pussy, it was like they both were made for each other.

P.S: In my next post, I shall talk about "What is etchical" Part 2

Introduction to the Blogging World

I just want to introduce myself to the blogging world. This is my first time blogging and I hope I learn alot about how to accomodate myself in this new scene. I will talk about my personal life. I was thinking about having my picture as the background on my blog but I changed my mind. If i intend to talk about my personal life, then there is no use for me to post my picture on this blog. Well I am going to retire to my chambers. I hope anyone who reads my blog will learn alot from my experience, and will try not to repeat the same mistakes. On the other hand, if it is good, then go ahead and follow me........